forfeit

indolent...habitually idle; causing little or no pain; slow to heal, develop, grow.

nolens-volens....to be willing and unwilling.

probity....complete and confirmed integrity.


i have these three posted in front of me above my desk, one is painted, two are on sticky notes with 'probity' in lowercase and 'indolent' in bolded, uppercase letters. they were all made at different times. its strange what things stick out in certain stages of a lifetime. like music, how differently you can relate to different types of music as time passes. like books, what different ideas or theories that appeal. like people, the various types of roles they serve.

perception...."oh dear, oh good, my life has changed. i think theres a point where you realize the wold has just been revealed to you. its like realizing your parents are both good and bad. its sort of, Oh no, things will never be quite the same again."

it is not in our nature to love.